ROAD WORKS. NO IT DOESN'T.

What can one do

stuck in a queue

with just a hard shoulder to cry on.

The kids in the back

a pain in the neck

and your wife who roars like a lion.

The sign for road works

is written by jerks

cause here we all are simply stuck.

The truth on the sign

is all very fine

do you think they give a flying .............

FOREIGN PARTS

Imagine my dismay

when just the other day

I took my holiday shots

to Sandra who works in Boots.

She said if I could pay

they'd be ready that same day.

She ticked the box for matt

and that was what I got.

Quite whose mat's in the shot

doesn't bother me a lot

what really gets my bile

is I cannot see the Nile.

I shouldn't have any qualms

the photo has some palms

but I certainly can't show Grannie

my picture with a ...........................

HOODIE

The man in the hood knew that he should

but couldn't see for the looking.

He eats special K every day

because he doesn't like cooking.

He could never quite see what he wanted to be

or taste with the tip of his tongue.

You know he is there with that terrible stare

and the tune he has stared to hum.

Stuck in the crowd the pointed white shroud

hints at something beneath.

Beware of the words like food for the birds

who peck without any teeth.

Don't give up hope let's pray for the Pope

he's good and earns his shilling,

but which is mitre, the sword or the writer?

Both in God's name appear willing.