PLEASE MIND THE GAP.

When driving in France

a good second glance

is often a tres bonne idee.

If you got in a hole

by loosing control

it might just ruin your day.

So keep on the right

and especially at night

beware of the unwelcome shunt.

What shame it would bring

if your ding-a-ling

was found in another girl's ....

BALANCING ACT

Hickory dickory dock
the girl slipped out of her frock
with amazing agility
and balance ability
she kept a firm grip on his..........

A protrusion that's hard as a puck
gives a girl something more than just luck
but if it's a sagger
you may need Viagra
or you won't be getting a.........

So be careful of such silly stunts
the bruises, the falls and the grunts
don't be gymnastic
just be fantastic
and you'll always find plenty of..............

THE GENIE AND GEORGE.

A girl went to stay in Tobruck
spent the night with a man in a souk
she said to the Arab
let me feel your scabbard
and he thought she wanted to cook.

He let her buff up his lamp
but half way through got cramp
she said "Oh it's weeny"
then up popped this Genie
who sadly seemed ever so camp.

"Your wish my dear I'll obey"
said the Genie in his own way
and with a limp wrist
and a puff of white mist
he turned into George Clooneigh.

Now the girl she purred like a cat
and the Genie took off his hat
as she hit the floor
shouting "More George, please more,
I'll show you my welcome mat."

The Genie he wasn't impressed
at the girl who was so undressed
To quench her ardour
he'd need something harder
this was a terrible test.

"Is it in?" screamed the girl out of hand
as the Genie or George took command
and with a great shove
said, "There you are love!"
She cried, "That's not me, it's the sand."

The moral can run rather a muck
at this tale of the girl and her luck
but one things quite clear
a Genie who's queer
will never give a good ...........